Fraught
by Anna Hurley
Summary: Anakin killed Palpatine however Padme stiil died after giving birth to just Luke. Anakin unable to cope leaves Luke at the Jedi Temple, gossip among the Padawans leads Luke back to his father, but with the Skywalkers a happy ending is never simple. AU
1. Chapter 1

Okay so this is my first story, I was encouraged by a friend of mine to start publishing on this website, after I began to annoy her with my constant stories, ha ha. Hope I wont do that to any of you to happen to read this.

So, the premise of this came to me when I was actually watching CSI. It was something Grissom said, "The best intentions are often fraught with disappointment." And it sent of bells in my head, as many things do and I started to research a few more quotes similar to it and I came up with these.

"All human sin seems so much worse in its consequence then in its intentions." – Reinhold Niebuhr

"Half the results of a good intention are evil; half the results of an evil intention are good." – Mark Twain

"It is difficult to say who does the most harm: enemies with the worst intentions or friends with the best." – Edward G. Bulwer-Lytton

"Hell is paved with good intentions, not bad ones." George Bernard Shaw

So after spending hours on the web with alarms still ringing and a few more quotes stuck in my mind I got the idea, what would happen if a person did something for all the right reasons and still lost everything? The problem was I didn't know what to apply it to. Last weekend anyway, my girlfriend and I, the same one mentioned above, were watching Star Wars and towards the end of episode 3 I just blurted out what if Anakin killed Palpatine and Padme still died anyway? My story began.

So after this incredibly long and obnoxious authors not, fair play to those who read it, here is my, probably bad, story: Fraught.

Please review.

******

Anakin jumped from his speeder and he ran. Sweat coated his face and dripped down his body, his heart pumping wildly in his chest as he made his way inside the medical centre. In his mind he tried to comprehend the message he had received from his beloved wife, but the words she had spoken seemed foreign, strange. Wrong.

"_Ani, something's wrong."_

How could something be wrong? It wasn't meant to be wrong, everything was supposed to be fine. Perfect. That was the plan. The dream. It was supposed to be a dream, not a nightmare, but it was becoming a nightmare. His nightmare.

"_I have the power to save the one you love."_

He tried to push down the memory, the words Palpatine had spoken to him. He had promised Anakin everything he desired. Power. The power to save Padme. He had seen her die, woken up drenched in sweat hearing her whisper his name on her last breath. No. He told himself. This was wrong. All wrong. Palpatine was gone. Padme was safe. Their child was safe.

Anakin turned the corner of the medical centre and he stopped, his ability to walk, to think, to move, to breath, suddenly vanished, with the sight of seeing his beautiful, strong, talented wife lying on her back, pale and fragile, weak.

Her stomach was fully exposed to the world in the drab white medical sheet she wore, for the first time since she had become pregnant. It was the first time anybody other then he had seen her like this, seen their miracle, their joy, their child. Padme didn't turn her head, she didn't move her hands, she was barely moving, to Anakin it didn't even look like she was breathing. But he knew she was, he could feel her, feel her essence, feel her heartbeat through the Force, it was the only thing that kept him from falling down on his knees and screaming.

Anakin felt his feet move and step by step he moved closer to her, in an agonisingly slow pace. He wanted to get their faster, but he couldn't. The closer he got to her, the further away she seemed. Anakin swallowed hard as he stopped outside the glass pane that was separating him from his wife. His blue eyes, glassy and glistening looked deep at his wife, her beautiful brown eyes, were closed to him and closed to the world. He swallowed again. Medical droids swarmed around the room, checking her vital signs and the vital signs of the baby.

The baby. Anakin stared at Padme's swollen belly. His child was growing inside. Their child. They child he had never considered having, the child that he had known for less then a few weeks, the child he had loved more then anything else in the world.

"_I have the power to save the one you love."_

Anakin gritted his teeth, shoving away the thoughts of his former friend and mentor. They weren't real. He was wrong. Padme was strong. Stronger then anyone he knew. She could survive. She _would_ survive. Anakin was sure. His nightmares meant nothing. They were planted in his mind. By Palpatine. He had wanted Anakin to turn, to be his apprentice, to be a Sith and he had tried to turn him by using his greatest weakness. Padme. The thought of her death spurred Anakin to actions he didn't think he was capable of. Actions that could have lead him to the dark side. Palpatine's plan was ingenious and it had almost succeeded, but Anakin knew what Padme would think of him. Knew the dangers of Palpatine's words. After thirteen years of being subjected to Palpatine's teachings he had finally seen through the old man. It had cost Mace Windu his life, but in the end Anakin had come through the dark.

He bit his lip as one of the medical droids came out of Padme's room. The Jedi had proof that Anakin's nightmares had been planted by the Sith Lord. They had proof. Padme was going to be fine, even if they remained blissfully unaware of that fact. She was going to be safe. She would live.

"What's going on?" he asked as the medical droid hovered in front of him. His voice was weak and hollow, he was trying to convince himself that he had done the right thing in declining Palpatine's deal and killing the sith lord, but as he looked at his wife, he was beginning to regret his decision and his firm belief in his nightmares had returned.

"There have been complications, several in fact. We have searched through her history and we cannot seem to find any of Mrs Naberrie's previous medical appointments." The droid informed him as he began to list out all of the aliments that were swarming through Padme.

Anakin tried to think, had Padme ever been to a doctor concerning her pregnancy? He didn't know; he had missed so much of it. She had never told him, never a word of a doctor or a medical droid. What if she hadn't gone? What complications could have arose from nine months of no medical treatment? Was she in danger? Was the baby?

"For reasons we can not prevent, we are losing her."

Anakin's head snapped towards the medical droid, who simply hovered before him, it could offer no comforting words, its face showed no sympathy, it was simply there to deliver the news that the human and non-human species could no longer bare to convey. Anakin moved closer to the glass room, protecting his wife, he placed his hand on the pane, trying to touch her, feel her, but for some reason, even with his strengths and talents, he couldn't. It was like she wasn't there anymore.

"We need to operate soon if we are to save the babies."

"Babies?" Anakin repeated.

"She's carrying twins." The droid said simply before he moved away from the ailing Jedi, husband, father, before him. Anakin breath hitched, his heart stopped. He couldn't feel anything. Not his wife, not his body, not the Force, not the people surrounding him. For the first time in his life Anakin Skywalker, the Chosen One, was alone and he was hallow.

"Twins." The word slipped from his mouth before he could stop it, before he could push it down and pretend like it hadn't happened, like it was still just one baby. For some reason he thought that would make the loss seem less, but it didn't. The loss of one equalled the loss of two.

The pain was completely the same.

Anakin ran his hand through his hair as the tears slipped down his face. A Jedi shall not no anger. Nor hatred. Nor love. Anakin had broken the code so many times that he had truly lost count but now everything seemed magnified. He was angry at himself, Palpatine had offered him the chance to save Padme, to protect her, to keep her and the babies alive and he had turned him down, he had killed him. He hated himself for it. He had only wanted to do the right thing. He had only had the best of intentions.

He loved Padme and he had just cost her, her life.

If she had married someone else, she never would have had to hide her pregnancy, the doctors could have prevented every complication she was suffering from now. If it weren't for him, she would have lived.

Anakin straightened up and he wiped his eyes, knocking away the tears. He had to be strong today, he had to be the one to wipe away the tears, to whisper encouraging words; he had to be Padme.

When he walked inside the Padme's room, her eyes fluttered open, the beautiful brown eyes he had fallen in love with looked up at him and she smiled. He smiled back, but it was forced, he knew and he could tell she did too.

"Ani," she whispered stretching her hand outwards towards him. She could barely lift it. He pushed the tears back as he took her hand in his and kissed it.

"The baby is coming," she said softly, her eyes opening and closing.

"Babies," he corrected her with a sad smile, "It twins my love. We're having twins."

Padme smiled, bright and wide and her eyes which were slowly losing their life, sparkled with joy. She brought his hand clasped in hers to her swollen stomach and Anakin felt one of the babies kick underneath her soft flesh. His eyes filled with tears again, the baby, the babies wanted to live.

He bent down and he kissed her stomach, feeling a kick respond underneath, he smiled, "Please fight." He whispered. Anakin looked up to his wife, who was struggling to stay awake, "Padme," he whispered, "Please. Don't leave me."

Padme murmured, "I'll never leave you."

Anakin gently brushed her hair back, whispering soothing words to her, as she started to lose her fight with life. The medical droid re-entered the room, carrying a tray filled with syringes and small bottles. He took one syringe, filled it, and proceeded to stick it into one of the many tubes connected to Padme. She moaned as it took effect, Anakin never let her feel it though; she concentrated solely on his voice and on the gentle reassuring kick of her children.

"It will soon be time," the droid told Anakin in his mechanical voice, "We gave her some medication to keep her alert and to induce labour, it will begin very shortly. In her weakened state she may not be able to do what is required of her, you will have to keep her focused and alive long enough to deliver the babies."

Anakin never took his eyes off Padme.

Minutes flew by and Padme's eyes began to open wider, the kicks of the babies became more frequent. Anakin knew it was time. He stood up from the seat he had been resting on. He removed his cloak. He never let go of Padme's hand.

The medical droid returned along with another one and slowly they eased Padme into the device that would assist her in the labour.

"It is time." The droid said as Padme screamed, loud and primal. She squeezed Anakin's hand as the first contraction hit her and she screamed again. Anakin bent low and whispered in her ear, telling her lies he prayed would become reality. He pushed aside his rational mind and told Padme to think of the room she had set up in Naboo, the baby's room, right by the gardens.

"We'll be there soon, the four of us," he prayed kissing her hand, "You just have to push."

She nodded her head, choosing to believe in his words, even though she herself knew from the beginning that she would not survive.

It had been weeks since the demise of Palpatine at her husband's blade and the Clone Wars were coming to an end. She had gone to the Lake Country just as she had planned, she had finished the baby's room and as she relaxed after her day of work she felt the pain rip through her abdomen. At first she had believed it to be labour but as the pains became more frequent she knew they were unnatural. She knew there was something wrong. Threepio had flown the ship to the nearest medical centre after she had sent the message to Anakin. The droids filled her with all sorts of drugs and tubes as they questioned her on her pregnancy.

They were frazzled. She knew that was not a good sign, but it was her husband that had let her know that her time was truly up. Anakin was calm, he was collected, he was dealing only with her. If it was a normal situation he would have been yelling at the droids, complaining, trying to make a joke, but he wasn't. So she knew she was dying.

She had tried to cry, tried to scream but she couldn't, she was too tired, too weak. So she lay there, her husband whispering sweet little lies into her ears and she indulged in the perfect fantasies he had created just for her. When the real labour began she couldn't ignore her pain, she was going to die. She would never see her children grow up and she would never grow old with her beloved husband. The drug she had been given, gave her the energy to give birth and to do what she longed to do, weep.

"You can do it Angel," Anakin continued to encourage, "You're almost there."

Padme nodded again as exhaustion overcame her, she pushed for the very last time as her scream tore through the room only to be interrupted by a cry. Anakin looked down and saw the large white medical droid hold the baby, his first baby, his son.

He gasped at the sight of his first born child as he was wrapped in a blanket and placed in his father's arms.

"Luke," Padme whispered.

"You were right Angel," he whispered, "We were having a boy."

"The girl should be only another minute." The droid said.

"Did you hear that Padme? A girl. We're having a girl. Leia, Leia's coming." Anakin said as he cradled Luke in his strong arms.

"You were right too." She said sadly.

Machines started to whirr and wiz and the medical droids looked around, grasping at syringes and looking at screens as they shouted out statistics that Anakin couldn't bare to hear.

"_On__ly with me can your wife escape certain death."_

What did I do? Anakin asked himself as the image of striking down Palpatine flashed before his eyes. He killed the only chance his wife had of survival. He had killed his wife. His nightmare had come true.

"No," came Padme's soft, broken, weak voice she brought her hand away from her son and laid it on Anakin's tear stained cheek, "It wasn't you." She told him, knowing his nightmare was replaying in his mind, "Never… never blame…yourself. Anakin… it wasn't you… you loved me… love our children." She struggled to speak.

"Padme, please!" he begged, "Your stronger then this. You can fight this. Please!" the tears fell down his face freely, he no longer cared as the pandemonium surrounded them, he did not care who saw him cry, he only wanted her to live.

"You'll be… a good father." She told him smiling, "This will never be your fault… never… I love you… don't ever…blame…"

Her hand fell from his cheek, Anakin felt the graze, for almost eleven years it would be the only thing he would ever feel, as her hand slipped, he caught it in his. Her hand was limp. Her eyes were closed. The galaxy would never see her brown eyes again.

"Padme…" he gasped as the pandemonium died and silence sheathed the room, there was not a single machine still active. His wife was gone. Dead.

He looked down at one of the droids expecting to see one of them holding his baby daughter, his Leia, but their arms were empty.

Padme's stomach was still swollen. Inside, encased forever, was his daughter, too dead, like her mother.

Anakin backed away from the lifeless body of his wife, and the remnants of his unborn daughter. His son began to cry, suddenly aware of the loss of his twin and his mother and the overwhelming grief radiating from his father. Anakin tried to comfort the baby but he couldn't. Not when he was crying too. He held Luke tight as he screamed in anguish, destroying everything surrounding him, the equipment, the white droid who had delivered his son and the pane of glass that had separated him from his wife.

It shattered everywhere. A waterfall of glass. It trickled on the floor, sharp crystals echoing around him as his wife lay silent and stony. Gone forever. Blissfully unaware of the shower of glass that fell over her.

For a long time it was how Anakin would think of her, lying still under a waterfall of glass.

Like the falls of Naboo she had loved so much.

******

Anakin returned to the home he and Padme had planned to share together, to raise their family in. He went directly to the babies' nursery. He had never seen in. It was spectacular, a bright perfect yellow, full off holos, a giant mural of a waterfall cascading down over the babies crib. Stuffed creatures lined the walls. The scent of fresh flowers and shurra fruit filled the air. Luke lay silent in his arms, as he walked inside to the window. Outside were the gardens.

The beautiful gardens.

But Anakin only saw Padme, pregnant with Leia, lying still and cold on the bed underneath the shimmering waterfall of glass.

He pulled himself away, bleary eyed, from the window, from the beauty he couldn't see and he sat himself in an old rocking chair. He rocked back in forth, trying to urge his young son to sleep. He wouldn't. Luke looked up at his father with his own blue eyes. He was the image of Anakin. But Anakin only saw Padme.

******

His comm. Line buzzed but he didn't answer it, he couldn't find the energy. He had grown accustom to sitting in the rocking chair as Luke slept in his arms. The comm. Interrupted his new found life, which consisted of the chair, of Luke, of the image of Padme, and the sound of the shattering glass. The humming that only ever filled his ears.

The comm. Continued and with a great struggle Anakin lifted his right arm and answered, "Yes."

His voice was nothing but a whisper as he stared at the mural of the waterfall Padme had painted.

He only saw glass.

"Anakin, are you alright?" Obi-Wan's concerned voice echoed down the line.

"Yes," he said again but his voice was none the stronger, "Just tired." He lied.

"Well…Anakin, something has happened," Obi Wan said, his voice sad and pained, "I don't know how to tell you this, Force, my friend, it's Padme…

"She's dead, I know." He answered, his voice devoid of all emotion.

"You know?" Obi Wan sounded surprised.

"I don't feel her anymore." Anakin elaborated, his voice was dead. Obi Wan grew worried.

"Her funeral is to take place on Naboo, are you there now?"

"Yes."

Luke gurgled and opened his eyes, blue like Anakin's, he only saw Padme.

"I have to go now." He said and he ended the comm. Link before Obi Wan could say anything.

He could barely look at his son. His line of sight never left the waterfall.

Only glass.

******

Anakin stood in the crowd as Padme's funeral procession passed him by. His hood was up. It hid his tears. Her hair was covered in flowers, in her hands she held the necklace he had made for her so many years ago. He wished it was the only symbol she held of their love, but it wasn't.

The dress she wore revealed her pregnant belly; mourners stared at both it and the lost senator. They were marvelled. Like Obi Wan Kenobi who stood transfixed between the deceased woman and his former padawan who exuded pain.

Anakin watched as her family walked by, Padme's sister and mother glanced at him, he looked down. They didn't look away. It was young Pooja who stared more openly at him. She waved.

Anakin waved back before he disappeared into the crowd and returned to his son.

******

Dorme had watched him. She knew. Anakin barely said two words to her before he dismissed her and she went to participate in the ending of her friend's funeral. Anakin couldn't stay, he wasn't sure what he would do if he did. Anakin held Luke in his arms and he tried to think of how he could raise the baby without Padme by his side. Dorme could not stay forever. In fact she couldn't stay at all. She would join the queen now, as her handmaiden.

Luke stared at him. Studied him. Like he knew what his father was thinking, what he was planning to do.

Anakin wept, "I'm sorry. I can't."

******

It had been two days since the funeral of Padme Amidala and the revelation that she pregnant. The galaxy was still in shock and mourning. He had just returned from Naboo after an extensive search for Anakin, who had disappeared during the funeral.

He sighed. Anakin was devastated by the loss of the woman he had secretly loved for years. Obi Wan knew it must have crushed him to know that she had loved another and that she was carrying his child. That was what he told himself, but he did not know if he even believed it.

He walked up the steps of the Jedi temple and stopped. Taken back. On the top step in front of the door was a bundle. Obi Wan bent over and picked up a baby boy. Wrapped in cloths he recognised from Naboo. Obi Wan looked around to see if whoever had left the boy was still around. He saw no one. He looked down on the sleeping baby. Around his neck was a necklace, a japor snippit that looked familiar to Obi Wan, but he couldn't place it.

There was a not attached to the boy. It said simply in handwriting that Obi Wan didn't recognise:

_I'm sorry. Tell my son, Luke, I'm sorry._

The boy opened his big blue eyes. Obi Wan smiled at him before hurrying him inside the temple.

Anakin watched from a distance as his son was taken away.

He saw only glass.

******

Okay so that was chapter one. What do you think any good? Please review if you like it, if you don't, please don't crucify me, I'm incredibly fragile.

Thanks

Anna


	2. Chapter 2

Wow. I got reviews! And they were nice reviews, who would have thought? If I'm being honest I thought I was going to get hate mail, ha ha but really I should have known all along that I was brilliant. I joke.

So thanks to my reviewers:

**De Hunter, ShadowinEX-Loves-Erik, Jedi Knight 13, Imperial warlord, ILDV, Kamia6, Kenobigrilliz** and **Curtis Zidane Ziraa**

You guys are the Ben to my Jerry. Lots of love.

Okay I just want to point out that this story does not have a Beta so if you guys notice any mistakes let me know and I'll fix them. Thanks.

Please continue to review, I love feedback, it's like coffee.

Chapter Two

******

_"You'll be… a good father." She told him smiling, "This will never be your fault… never… I love you… don't ever…blame…"_

_"Padme…" he gasped as the pandemonium died and silence sheathed the room, there was not a single machine still active. His wife was gone. Dead._

Anakin shot up in his bed, gasping. Padme was dead. The thought echoed in his head as he struggled to regain his breath. He tried to calm himself but it seemed impossible, he kept seeing her close her eyes, he kept hearing her say goodbye. She was gone.

Anakin ran his hands through his hair and he looked around his room. Surprised. He was not in his room at the Jedi Temple nor was he in his room at the Senate building, the room he shared at Padme. He was somewhere else, somewhere different.

He was in Varykino.

Anakin didn't remember coming here. He had left Naboo. Or so he had thought. Slowly and carefully he got out of the bed he had once shared with his wife, grabbed his shirt off the back of the chair and a black glove that he used to cover his mechanical hand. Using the Force he called his lightsaber to him and he walked out of the room, trying to be mindful of his surroundings. He moved slowly down the long hallway where he sensed several presences. When he reached the door, of what he recognised to be the nursery, he cursed under his breath, he hated this room. Anakin had his weapon, ready to ignite it, peaked around the door frame.

He dropped his lightsaber.

Padme was sitting in the rocking chair, with Leia in her arms, breastfeeding her. She looked up at the sudden sound, she saw her husband standing at the door and she smiled at him before looking back down at her daughter.

"Padme," he breathed her name, like it was reverent. To him it was.

She smiled at him again, "Morning Ani," she said, "Your daughter has quite the appetite, I don't know how I'm going to handle feeding all three of you."

Anakin stared at her, flabbergasted. How was she sitting there? How was Leia? Had he not witnessed her die? He had been there, he had held her hand, he felt her heart stop. Leia, his little girl, was never even born; she was never even given the chance to live. Was what he seeing real?

"Anakin?" Padme looked at him, "Are you alright?"

Was she real? She looked real, her glossy brown curls fell down in back in casual disarray, her eyes shone brightly even though there was a trace of sleep in them, her skin was pale, dewy and her smile was as bright as it was they day he had married her. She looked real, she felt real. She _had_ to be real. He felt it, in the Force, in his bones, in his heart. She was there. Leia was there. His girls, alive and well. Before him.

He smiled at her and he blinked back the tears that had sprouted in his eyes. He entered the room and approached his wife, who had finished feeding Leia and was pulling the strap of her long purple nightgown back on her shoulder and wiping Leia's mouth with a towel she had over her shoulder. Anakin brushed a stray strand of hair behind her ear before bending down and kissing her lightly on the lips. He smiled at her.

"Are you sure you're alright?" she asked again, "You were tossing and turning last night."

He stroked her cheek, "Just a strange dream, it's over now." He assured her as he kissed her again.

She smiled. "Good, now would you take your daughter please."

Anakin took her greedily, he was still shaken by the nightmare he'd had, by the loss he felt for his living child. Leia looked up at him with big brown eyes, her mother's eyes. Anakin's smile grew as his heart swelled.

Padme looked up at him from her chair, rubbing his arm gently. She was proud. Anakin was a good father, she could see it already.

Anakin rocked Leia back and forth in his big arms as she gurgled happily at him. He laughed a little. He was already seeing his future, being wrapped around this little girl's finger. The thought made him ecstatic; he gladly looked forward to it. His son was something he was worried about. If he was like him, he would most definitely be a handful.

Anakin handed Leia back to Padme and he looked at the two cribs that we lined up in front of the window that held a view of the gardens. One had a soft pink blanket that was over turned, Leia'c crib, the second with it's painted blue wood, Luke's, was empty.

Anakin felt his heart catch. Where was Luke? He looked back to Padme who didn't seem to notice his distress; she was smiling at the little girl in her arms.

"Padme, where's Luke?" he asked terror seeping into his voice.

Padme looked away from Leia and to him, she smiled sadly, "Oh Anakin." She said.

Anakin finally noticed the mural behind her, the Naboo falls, before his very eyes, the glistening waves burst from the wall and turned to glass and fell over Padme and Leia. The shards cut her cheeks but she didn't notice, she kept on looking at him.

"Oh Anakin."

Anakin shot up in his bed in the Jedi Temple, sweat coating him, the humming of the shattering glass ringing in his ears and tears slipping down his cheeks. Padme alive, that was his true dream. He pushed the covers off of his body and threw his legs over the edge, he placed his head in his hands, one mechanical, one flesh and he wept. Padme, his Padme, his wife and mother of his children, was dead, gone. So was his daughter, the daughter he would never know.

And it was all his fault.

Anakin got to his feet and paced the room thinking of the many things that could have been done differently. Maybe if he had taken Palpatine's offer none of this would have happened. Padme could be by his side, their two children in her arms. They would have been together, happy.

No! He told himself, that wasn't true. Palpatine would have ruined everything. The Sith only cared about personal gain and if Anakin had a family that would have ruined everything… right? Anakin tried t push away his doubts, but he couldn't, they circled around his mind, like an incessant picture show, one he was powerless to stop.

He tried. And he tried hard. It made no difference. Padme's face, her dying words, Leia still inside of her, Luke's eyes it was all there, he couldn't stop the thoughts, the doubts, the worry and he couldn't stop the undeniable fact; that it was all his fault.

In a fit of anger Anakin sent his mechanical hand through the wall of the room he barely ever stayed in. Anakin felt the room around him go quiet; the noise of his now broken hand could not be heard above the humming of the glass.

Tearfully Anakin withdrew his hand and he quickly inspected the damage. It was minor, easily fixed. Unlike everything else. Anakin looked around the chamber he had been assigned three years ago. He tried to remember if he had ever actually slept in it, he didn't think so. The room felt so foreign that it became suffocating, Anakin quickly found his shirt, buttoned it up, threw his cloak over his body and stuck his feet into his boots. He left his room and started to walk towards the Council Room, taking the long way around. The easiest way would have caused him to pass the nursery, where his son was. He couldn't go there.

The Temple was quiet. Empty. Everyone was already in bed, resting, for the first time in years, since the beginning of the Clone Wars, everything was peaceful. For everyone except Anakin.

Slowly he entered the grand Council room and he walked to the window. The view of Coruscant was magnificent, but Anakin didn't care to look at it, he stared at the Senate building, what had once been his home. He saw the light from the apartment and he knew someone was there, collecting Padme's things. The tears came. Soon, there would be no trace of Padme left in that building.

******

Jobal Naberrie sat on the bed in her daughter's apartment, clutching Padme's nightgown to her chest as she sobbed. Her youngest daughter was gone. Jobal, couldn't bare it, how was it that Padme had died? How had she been left alone in a medical centre? Had anyone been with her?

Jobal fingered the silky material lightly, it was large, it was a maternity gown. It only made Jobal cry more. Her daughter, her baby, had been pregnant and she hadn't known. Why? Padme was in her last trimester, she was in the process of giving birth, she knew she was pregnant, why hadn't Padme told her? Did her daughter not trust her with the knowledge? Did she not want her to be involved in the child's life?

Jobal's husband, Ruwee, Padme's father looked at his wife, sitting on the bed weeping. He lowered another one of Padme's elaborate gowns into the suitcase he was packing, wishing he knew how to comfort his wife. He couldn't think of a single thing to say, how was he supposed to make their daughter's death, her grandchild's death better? Was there even a way to do that?

Ruwee eyed the garment that Jobal was clutching and gently he eased it out of her hands, she looked at him with puffy red eyes and asked in a broken voice, "Why did this happen?"

He wished he had an answer for her but he didn't. He couldn't even explain it to himself. "I don't know."

"Why didn't she tell us she was pregnant?"

"I don't know Jobal." He said as he placed the gown in the suitcase.

"Why didn't she ever go to a doctor?" she sobbed again.

"I don't know Jobal!" Ruwee snapped, finally hearing enough of his wife's questions. He didn't know why his daughter hadn't told them anything, he didn't know why she had never been to a doctor, he didn't know who the father of his grandchild was. He didn't know anything. He didn't know anything about his daughter.

Ruwee looked over his shoulder at his wife, who was crying hard but not letting a sound escape her lips. As soon as he saw her he regretted his anger. His wife was just as he was. Lost. All she wanted was answers.

Ruwee opened his mouth to apologize but Jobal raised a hand and stopped him, "It's alright," she sniffled as she wiped her eyes, "I know, you want to know too."

"I do," he said kneeling before her and taking her hands in his, "But we may have to accept that we will never know the answers."

Jobal let the tears slip down her face and despite knowing that her husband knew no answers she asked again, "Why didn't she tell us?"

Ruwee swallowed and he offered her an answer he had been carefully considering, "Maybe she was ashamed."

"Padme? Ashamed? Never!" Jobal snapped at him, "She had nothing to be ashamed about!"

"I'm not saying she did," Ruwee said quietly, "But Jobal she was unwed and pregnant, she might have felt that we would be ashamed of her."

"Would Padme really think that we would be ashamed of her?" Jobal sobbed, she didn't want to think that her daughter might have been afraid of her, scared of her reaction. She only wanted her daughter to be happy.

"She may not have even known who the father was." Ruwee said as he himself considered the possibility, Padme had never told any of them of a relationship or any man she had feelings for. "It may have been a casual encounter with a stranger."

"Padme would never do that." Jobal said.

"And she didn't" Sola said emerging from Padme's large walk in closet. Her parents turned to her, surprised to hear the certainty in her voice.

"How do you know that Sola?" her father questioned her.

"Did you know if she was seeing someone?" her mother asked desperate for the knowledge.

Sola shook her head and gestured for them to follow her inside the closet. Both of her parents got to their feet and they followed their only daughter inside to the very back of the closet. Sola waited for them, she sighed and then reached onto the top shelf and she pulled down a pair of sleep pants and a black shirt, men's clothing. "If she wasn't in a relationship why would a man's clothes be here." She pointed to the bottom shelf, there was a pair of boots there too, "She was in a relationship."

"I still don't understand." Jobal admitted as she took the shirt from Sola, wondering if the man who owned loved her daughter, if he was the father of the unborn child, if he attended her funeral. And if he had, why hadn't he made himself known.

Sola looked down to the floor and she sighed rubbing the side of her head, she opened a door next to one of Padme's many dresses, where her coats were kept and she pulled out a long black robe. She handed it to her father.

It meant nothing to him. It meant a lot to Jobal.

.******

Obi Wan Kenobi stood outside the nursery in the Jedi temple and he watched Luke the boy he had found on the steps. The baby had been checked thoroughly, he was perfectly healthy, indeed Force sensitive and had one of the highest midi-chlorian levels Obi Wan had ever seen. The child interested him to say the least; there weren't many people who left their children on the steps of a Jedi Temple. It was puzzling.

Obi Wan turned his head when he felt someone approaching. Yoda, hobbled towards him aided by his cane. Obi Wan bowed respectfully, Yoda nodded at him.

"A child you found, hmm?" Yoda said as he looked at the seven cribs that held seven babies, only one of them had been abandoned.

"Yes Master, when I returned from Naboo, he was on the steps outside the temple."

"Interesting and what we know of this child?" he asked.

"Not much, I know from a handwritten note that his name is Luke, he is in perfect health and is only a few days old and his mid-chlorian levels are amazing, as high as yours but lower then Anakin's." Obi Wan explained.

"Powerful Jedi will he be, your former padawan, returned has he?"

"Yes, I checked his quarters, he's sleeping." Obi Wan told the Jedi Grand Master before rubbing his beard. Although he was glad he had finally located Anakin and he was back in the Temple, Obi Wan could not stop his worrying. He had yet to speak to Anakin since the death of Padme Amidala, he had barely seen him at the funeral before he disappeared for two days, and no matter how hard he tried he couldn't forget the sound of his brother's voice when he told him about Padme.

"Concerned, you are. Yes." Yoda said, not phrasing it as a question.

"I am Master, he and Senator Amidala were good friends, and when I contacted him to inform him of her death he sounded so broken… so small." Obi Wan said as he heard his friend's voice again.

"_I know." _

"An attachment to her, he had. Forbidden for a Jedi, attachment is. Great consequences, there could be." Yoda said as he remembered the fallen senator and the Chosen one and the affection they had shared for each other.

Obi Wan messaged his temples hoping to suppress the headache that was forming there, it didn't help. He had always known that Padme and Anakin were too close, he tried to stop it once, he had told Padme, pleaded to her rational mind to stop any attachment from forming. He thought she had listened to him, but the grief he had felt radiating off his former Padawan and the sight of Padme's swollen belly made him believe otherwise.

Obi Wan shook his head, there had been an attachment, yes, but neither of them would have allowed their friendship to cultivate to a physical level. Padme knew better. Anakin knew better. Didn't they?

"Betray you, your thoughts do. Believe he fathered Amidala's child you do."

Obi Wan dipped his head, ashamed of his thoughts, "I know I should have more faith in him but I cannot discount the possibility."

Yoda nodded his head and considered what Obi Wan had, "Face a great battle within himself, if you are right, he will."

"He will not be punished?" Obi Wan asked timidly.

"No proof of his transgressions, have I." Yoda said as he looked in on the sleeping babies, Yoda always had a fondness of children.

"What if Senator Amidala's family begin an investigation into who impregnated her?" Obi Wan asked the wise Jedi.

Yoda smiled and walked away, "Against Naboo tradition, that is."

Obi Wan nodded and smiled, relieved that his suspicions could never be proven correct, he turned back to the babies and look at Luke, the young boy he had found only hours before. Every child was asleep, except him, he looked around him, his blue eyes wide and curious, it was like he wanted to see everything, Obi Wan mused.

"Good night young ones," he said before he walked away to check on Anakin again.

He would find his room empty.

******

Okay so there is chapter two, please review and tell me what you think.

Anna


	3. Chapter 3

Hey guys, happy Easter! Hope you're all stocking up on chocolate, I personally plan on getting fat this year. I hear it's in for the Spring season.

Okay so first thanks to my reviewers:

**SongofRoland, Imperial warlord, Angie, De Hunter, Jedi Knight 13, ILDV, Golden Feathers Edward, Kamia6 **and **Mireilles3 **

And to **Bikiluf** I am relatively new to the whole Star Wars universe so maybe how I phrased it was wrong and if so I apologize but also just to explain, I did some research and to be perfectly honest I can't remember where I got my final answer but according to an interview George Lucas did if Anakin had not been ripped apart as the case were and been encased in the Darth Vader suit, depleting his natural Force ability, he would have been the most powerful Jedi of all time. So from that I figured it was safe to assume that Anakin, if he had lived as Anakin Skywalker would have been more powerful than Luke. I hope that clears that up but if you find different results let me know.

Okay also I have only seen two or three episodes of the new star wars series and because of that Ashoka won't be appearing in this story because I don't feel I know her well enough yet to right her, but I will be using something from her.

Okay so after that here is the next chapter of Fraught.

**Chapter Three**

******

The streets of Coruscant were filled with people, dancing, drinking, singing; celebrating. There wasn't a person who wasn't there, having the time of their lives, and if they weren't on Coruscant, they were on Naboo or Corellia or any number of different planets. Tonight the entire galaxy celebrated. It had been a year, one whole year since the discovery that Chacellor Palpatine was a Sith Lord. A year since the Chosen One struck him down with his weapon and fulfilled the prophecy, bringing balance to the Force. One whole year since the Clone Wars ended. This is why the celebrated.

It wasn't a national holiday, the newly elected Chancellor Bail Organa had not instructed anyone to celebrate, to take time off work, or decorate their homes or businesses but he did discourage the fact either. Nor was he working while the people he served danced in the streets, he was celebrating his own way, at home with his wife and their newly adopted daughter.

The Jedi watched from a distance, monitoring for security but most of them too took the time to relax, smile and be grateful for Anakin Skywalker. The boy that they had nearly refused. During this time they also thought of Qui Gon Jinn, the stubborn Jedi Master who in his last moments of life had given the task of training the boy to his young Padawan Obi Wan Kenobi. Some smiled, others shook their heads but all remembered and all noted their happiness. This was their celebration. Peace.

Anakin Skywalker had saved the Galaxy, everyone knew it, and it was his name they praised as their words began to slur from too much alcohol and their feet began to ache from too much dancing, he was the one they wanted to lift off his feet and carry through the skies of the distant planets. He was the one who should have been celebrating the most. After years of doubt he had completed the prophecy, he had vanquished the Sith. He had saved them all. He barely noticed.

While the people cheered, Anakin's heart fell deeper inside his body, it began to slow and the passion and excitement that had once filled his veins and life was no longer boiling, it was barely a simmer. People chanting his name, two years ago he would have lived for it, now it was like none of it was happening. Anakin couldn't celebrate, because for him there was nothing to celebrate or be happy about.

It had been a year since he had killed Palpatine.

It had been a year since he had ended the war.

It had been a year since his wife and daughter died.

No, for Anakin Skywalker, there was nothing to celebrate, there was nothing to be happy about, there was just the constant reminded of what was missing from his life as the hole in his aching heart only grew.

Anakin walked through the busy streets, his hood up, making himself invisible, he did not want to be bothered tonight, he did not want to deal with the people who adored him, with the women who threw themselves at him, with the children who idolised him. He just wanted to be alone.

He entered Dex's diner to find it empty, only Dex stood behind the counter drinking a yellow liquid as he polished off a chipped dish.

"Anakin!" he exclaimed surprised by the visit of the most famous Jedi, "What are you doing here, why aren't you lavishing in the attention of your adoring fans?"

Dex tried to make a joke of the whole thing, Anakin had always been loved the people, he was The Hero With No Fear, and back in the day Anakin had loved it but now even Dex could see that Anakin had changed and that all of it meant nothing to him. Dex had known Anakin since he was stubborn and prideful padawan and to see the sudden change in him worried Dex to no end. Obi Wan had said he was maturing; Dex didn't need to be Force sensitive to know that Obi Wan didn't believe the words coming out of his own mouth. There was something wrong, but nobody knew what.

"Just not in the mood tonight," he said as he sat down in a corner booth, "Could use some food though."

"Sure, no problem." Dex said softly as he threw the towel over his left shoulder and started towards the kitchen.

Anakin smiled weakly, "Thanks."

It was all Anakin could manage. He sighed as he placed his hands down on the cool table, he stared at his gloved hand, mechanical and unfeeling, and thought back to how many times he had damaged it in the past year. Dozens, maybe more, he truly had lost count of how many times he had repaired it and how many holes he had fixed in the wall of his apartment. He clenched his hand into a fist as he thought of his _home_ back in the Jedi Temple, he made it a point to refer to it as his home whenever he thought of it but after a year it still felt nothing like it, still strange, still foreign. He knew of course that his trying was futile he would only ever have one home and that home was in the Senate building in the arms of his beautiful wife.

He clenched his fist harder. His home, the home that he had shared with Padme, was no longer his. After Padme's death Jar Jar Binks had succeeded her as Senator but he had refused to accept Padme's former apartment, it now belonged to another senator from Scipio. Anakin, for no other reason, longed to hurt this senator in whatever way possible.

Anakin sighed and unclenched his fist. Padme wouldn't want that. She wouldn't want any of it. He sighed again as the bell above the door rang, shrill and loud. Anakin heard the glass shatter in his ears. He closed his eyes and tried to push it out, it grew louder.

Obi Wan sat down in the booth on the opposite side, so he was facing Anakin. He smiled as he picked up one of the menus. Anakin didn't, couldn't, smile back. Obi Wan pretended to examine the menu he'd memorised years ago, really he examined Anakin. There were bags under his eyes, exhaustion wreaked from him, he was losing weight not that he seemed to be aware of it and every time Obi Wan saw him Anakin's life seemed to be draining away more and more. The mischievous spark that once danced in his blue eyes wasn't there anymore. They were just empty.

"Quite the party going on, isn't there?" Obi Wan said as he folded away the torn and well worn menu before looking out the window at the hustle and bustle of the packed streets.

Anakin merely nodded.

Obi Wan suppressed a sigh and he kept up his attempts to lure his friend into conversation, to resurrect the man he had once known, "I'm surprised you managed to make it here" he said lightly, "I swear I was nearly lifted off my feet and carried here just for knowing you!"

Anakin looked out to the street, a smile tugged briefly at his lips, it lasted mere seconds and it was clearly forced. Obi Wan let out a breath as Dex approached carrying two plates filled to the brim with food. The two Jedi had been coming to Dex so long that he didn't need to hear their orders anymore; he always knew what they wanted.

"Thank you," Anakin said quietly as he accepted the scorching plate from Dex, both he and Obi Wan noticed that when Anakin took the plate he took no notice of the searing pain that should have been shooting through his hand. They both ignored it as Dex placed Obi Wan's plate down on the table.

"Thank you Dex," Obi Wan said, "Did you see me come in?"

"Nope but where one is the other isn't far behind." He said explaining how be knew to bring a meal for Obi Wan as well.

"Rather true, I suppose," he said as he picked up his eating utensils, "Shouldn't you be out enjoying the festivities?"

Dex nodded, "I should, but I didn't want to leave this place but with you two here I suppose it's in good hands," he gestured to Anakin, "You hear this guy supposedly saved the entire Galaxy?"

He left the diner with a laugh, Obi Wan smiled and he returned his gaze to Anakin who was picking at his dinner. It was something else Obi Wan had noticed, even if Anakin was the one who suggested eating he never seemed to be hungry or like he actually wanted it eat he just knew he had too. Anakin used to devour his food in minutes now he barely finished half of what was on his plate.

Obi Wan sighed, Anakin was so different, so changed that sometimes he barely recognized him.

"You look tired," Obi Wan commented as he took a bite of food. Obi Wan had been treading carefully with Anakin over the last year, he had hoped that Anakin would be able to recover from the loss of Padme Amidala but Anakin only seemed to delve further into depression. Many of the Jedi said he was finally maturing after the Clone Wars had ended and Obi Wan agreed with them although he knew it not to be true. Anakin was not maturing, he was… dying?

"Tired?" Anakin repeated softly, "Do I?"

Obi Wan nodded, "Yes, has something been keeping you awake at night?"

Yes, nightmares, visions of Padme's death, Leia still in her womb. Anakin wanted to tell Obi Wan these things, he wanted to be able to share with his best friend, his brother the dreadful truths that haunted him every second of his now pitiful existent but he stayed quiet, he kept his secrets because the truth was no good to him now and disappointing Obi Wan was the last thing he wanted.

"No, I can't say there is."

Obi Wan smiled and nodded as he took a bite from his food, he hadn't expected Anakin to come forward with his emotions and turmoil immediately he knew it would take time, Anakin was stubborn and he would only admit his troubles when he felt he had no other choice, but Obi Wan knew just by looking at his friend that Anakin would never, ever admit it. Every day he was more closed off, he would never speak and therefore never heal. Obi Wan would have to pry the secret from his slow beating heart.

Obi Wan let out a sigh not that it was noticed by Anakin, he was busy gazing out at the streets. Obi Wan stirred the tea Dex had brought as he considered his next move, it was bold and Anakin's reaction would in no doubt be a bad one but Obi Wan felt it had to be done because Obi Wan knew it was the heart of what affected Anakin.

"There is to be a memorial for Seantor Amidala on Naboo is a few days, to mark the first year of her passing." He told Anakin quietly and he watched in dismay as Anakin's jaw locked and his fist clenched.

"They say a painting of her is to be erected in the Palace, I hear it's magnificent." He said as Anakin closed his eyes the image of his wife was still imprinted firmly on his eye lids, it was her voice that was growing distant. Sometimes even in his dreams her last words would falter and there would be only silence. Anakin feared that she was disappearing. It was like she was dying all over again and again he was powerless to stop it.

Anakin thought of the holo that was buried inside the pocket of his cloak. The night before the Naberries had arrived to collect Padme's things, he had taken away all holo's and erased C3PO's memory of him, he took away the evidence of him being in Padme's life. It was like he had never existed to her.

But she existed to him in these blurry images that did nothing to capture her true beauty, her compassion and empathy. All the reasons he loved her. The holo was nothing, it barely provided it him with a memory of her. When he looked at the holo all he could see were pixels that made up an image. It wasn't Padme.

Padme was dead.

He felt the tears build behind his eyes and with all of his might he pushed them back, willed them not to fall but it seemed impossible. Padme was his weakness, then, now and forever.

"Will you be attending?" Obi Wan asked as he noted the change in Anakin's composure.

Anakin shook his head, "I don't think so."

Anakin hadn't been on Naboo since Padme's funeral and he had no intention of returning.

"May I ask why?" Obi Wan asked him leaning forward on the table, "You two were such good friends and she always spoke highly of you, why would you not want to attend a memorial in her honour?"

"Because I don't!" Anakin snapped banging his clenched fists so hard on the table that the plates jumped.

Obi Wan leaned back in the booth afraid of the sudden burst of anger that had come from his friend, he knew that bringing up Padme would be hurtful but after a year of Anakin slowly dying before him he knew he had to go for the pain, he had to help him overcome it, he had to bring Anakin back to life.

Obi Wan sighed and as much as it pained him he said, "Is it because she was pregnant?"

Anakin fist clenched tighter. Leia. Having to discuss Padme was bad enough but bringing Leia into it went beyond any realms of any pain that Anakin had never known before. The pain he felt under both Dooku and Palpatine's sith lightening was _nothing _compared to this.

"Don't," he begged.

Anakin knew Obi Wan was only trying to help him but he couldn't bear to be helped. He knew something was wrong with him, he knew he wasn't well, but he didn't want to get better, life wasn't worth living without Padme, nothing was worth anything without Padme by his side. He knew he still had Obi Wan, his best friend and brother but Anakin could barely see him beyond Padme's face, could barely hear his voice above the shattering glass. He tied to see the good in life, but what was once good was meaningless now.

"Just don't." he begged again his voice as soft and as hollow as the day Padme had died.

"Anakin _please_," Obi Wan begged back, "You're my friend, my brother I just want to help you. Please, just talk to me."

"What good will talking do?" Anakin asked him looking down at his full plate.

"Anakin, nobody not even her own family knew she was pregnant just because she didn't tell you doesn't –

"I knew she was pregnant."

Obi Wan gasped and he leaned back into the booth once again, stroking his beard, "H-how long did you know?"

"Since the day we stopped Dooku, she told me when you gave me my glorious day with the politicians." He smiled a little but it quickly evaporated, "She was so happy."

Obi Wan nodded as he looked at Anakin who was locked in the memory of Padme, there was a shadow of joy on his face but it was quickly replaced by fear, regret and sadness.

Obi Wan swallowed hard and he asked a question whose answer he wasn't sure he wanted to know.

"Were you the father of her child?"

Anakin lifted his head and he looked Obi Wan directly in the eye, his blue eyes were glossy and glistening, filled with unshed tears, "What good will talking do?" he asked again, "Padme is dead, no amount of talking can change that."

"Maybe if you talked about it, it would help you, help you get passed your grief, help you move on."

Anakin shifted in his seat and he took raggedy breaths, "Hypothetically if I had been in a… romantic relationship with Padme, if I had loved her, if she had loved me, if we had conceived a child together and that child died with her mother as I watched helplessly, what difference would telling you that make? It wouldn't ease the pain of knowing my child never got a chance to live, knowing that I'd never see the face of the woman I love again, will talking about it change that? Will admitting that I had a daughter with Padme Amidala bring her back? It won't. Talking will do nothing. Padme and Leia are dead! _Dead!_ So what's the point?"

Obi Wan watched as Anakin told him what nobody was supposed to know, the sex of the unborn child and her name. Obi Wan swallowed back a lump in his throat as he digested the fact that his brother had a lover, a daughter both of which were now dead.

"Anakin…" he started to say but Anakin had already risen to his feet and was out the door of the diner, tears streaming down his face.

Obi Wan watched as he wiped tears from his own eyes and pinched the bridge of the nose as he considered the way Anakin and Padme had looked at each other of the years, he should have seen it, he should have stopped it. If he had maybe Padme would be alive right now. Maybe Anakin would be too.

******

Anakin spent the night walking the streets. For all the people who were celebrating him nobody seemed to notice him as he walked passed. They were all too intoxicated.

Anakin knew what he had said back at the diner to Obi Wan was a mistake, he should have feigned ignorance, he should have acted as if it was jealousy of her unnamed lover that prevented him from attending, he should have done anything but what he did, which was admit that he had fathered Leia and had been involved with Padme. At least he didn't say he was married to her.

He wondered what Obi Wan would do with the information, but his wondering was only brief, he spent the rest of the night imagining what Leia might have looked like had she been born and trying to recall the exact details of Padme's voice. On both counts, it was hard and he failed.

When the sun had risen on the next day Anakin returned to the Temple, it was quiet; everyone was still asleep for that Anakin was grateful he didn't want to deal with anyone. Anakin didn't want to return to his chambers in case Obi Wan was waiting for him but he didn't want to stay on the street so he wandered the halls of the Temple aimlessly, trying to remember if he told Padme he loved her the day she died. He couldn't.

Eventually Anakin turned a corner and stopped his breath catching in his throat at what he saw. Children. Younglings. He was at the nursery, the place he had avoided like a sickness for the past year. Anakin tried to turn away, tried to run but his feet were glued to the floor as he watched the younglings play.

Swallowing, he moved closer against his will and saw there were nine in the room, using blocks and training lightsabers to play with each other. He watched them with a heavy heart, he wondered if Leia would have been Force sensitive, what toys she would have liked to have played with.

"See you here before, I have not."

Anakin turned his head to see Yoda hobbling towards him. Anakin bowed and shook his head, "No Master, I don't think I've ever been here before."

"I did not think so. Yess, hmm." He said as he turned to look at the children, "Here quite often, I come."

Anakin knew Yoda liked children, it was why he chose to train the Younglings but Anakin never knew why Yoda liked the company of the children so much, he wasn't sure if anybody did.

"May I ask why Master?"

Yoda chuckled under his breath, "New hope in every child, there is. The sins of the past not matter. Yesss. In each child a chance for a better future, there is. For peace, a chance. Great destiny, perhaps. The next Anakin Skywalker, one child could be."

Anakin nodded although he hoped that no child would become like him, it wasn't a fate that he wished on anyone.

"You here tonight, what brought, hmm? Yes, hmmm." Yoda asked him as he smiled on at the children, some of which waved when the saw him. He waved back.

"I don't know Master." He admitted looking to the ground.

"Great place to find an answer, I find that a child's mind is. Still innocent and pure, it is, not tainted by war or doubt or fear. Yes, hmmm. If an answer you seek this is the place to find it, it is. Hmmm." He said as he moved some of the rubber balls around with the Force delighting the Younglings who clapped and smiled and gurgled.

Anakin watched the balls as they flew across the room the younglings crawling after them, laughing joyously as Yoda chuckled to himself. Anakin smiled briefly as the balls landed and the younglings all picked one for themselves and started to suck on them or roll them in front of themselves. It was then that Anakin noted another youngling, about a year old with sandy blond hair and bright blue eyes. Anakin tried to contain his gasp as he looked on at his son, who was creating a tower out of the blocks. There was an extra set laid out beside him, which he had not touched.

Yoda followed Anakin's gaze.

"Luke Tano, the boy your Master found outside the Temple, he is. Strange boy, yes, hmm. Lays out a second set of blocks, he does, always, like waiting for someone he is, play with them, he does not let the other younglings."

"W-why is that?" Anakin asked as he watched his son continue to build a structure that looked familiar to him.

Yoda moved inside the nursery and although Anakin didn't want he followed the aging master inside, it was like his feet had a mind of their own. Anakin could see Luke more clearly now, his hair was a dark golden blond, wavy just like his, his eyes were a sparkling blue, bright and full of life already. He looked him, Anakin realized. His son looked like him.

"Know not, do I, his home a memory from, perhaps." Yoda said thoughtfully.

"L-Like," Anakin stuttered, "Like he's waiting for someone from home to play with, like a… a sibling?"

"Make sense, a sibling would. Herh herh herh."

Some of the children began to surround the Master and he began to play with them using the Force, he was so distracted by them that he did not notice when Anakin stayed in the nursery and watched as Luke completed his structure, one that bore a striking resemblance to the Lake House on Varykino.

A single tear slipped down Anakin's scarred cheek as Luke looked up and gazed upon his father for the first time in a year. The little boy grabbed a block from the second set, a set Anakin would always believe had been intended for Leia, in his chubby little hand, pushed himself to his feet and took a few shaky steps until he was standing in front of his father. He gazed up at him in adoration, like he recognized him, and he handed him the little blue block. Anakin smiled and took it from him. Luke smiled back, revealing his four teeth.

"His first steps, those were." Yoda said from a distance.

Anakin smiled at him and then looked back down to his son, "Thank you Luke," he said, the boy smiled again, bright and wide, and in an instant Anakin saw Padme as if she were standing before him. Luke turned and walked away, stumbling once and crawling the rest of the way back to his structure. He pointed at one area of the building and if Anakin was right about it being Varykino then Luke was pointing at what had been his nursery.

Anakin smiled and clutched the block in his hand as if somehow that little block had reminded him.

His wife still lived in their son.

It had been a year since his son was born.

For the first time in almost a year Anakin didn't hear the shattering glass.

******

Okay so that was chapter three, I hope you like it. Please review.

Anna


	4. Chapter 4

Hey guys, its been a long time, sorry but I've been up to my ears in drama lately. It's all very juicy, none of you will ever hear it though.

Okay so first off thanks to all of my reviewers, I'm glad you liked the story and I hope you keep clicking that button at the end.

To **Mastrada101 **as I said in the previous chapter Ashoka will not be appearing in this story, giving the Luke the name Tano was just my way of acknowledging her as a character and her absence.

Okay so here is chapter four. I hope you all like it

**Chapter Four**

It was difficult. Living with the decision he had made years ago. It kept him up at night, haunted his dreams, pressed down on him like the heaviest weight in the galaxy. The regret. The pain. The mistake. Often Anakin wondered what would have happened if he had not allowed his grief over Padme and Leia to consume him, if he had allowed himself to see his living, breathing son. Would they be living on Naboo as Padme had always planned? Would they enjoy each other's company? Would they work on speeders together? Anakin fantasised about their could-have been lives often. Indulged in the endless possibilities of what could have been, but he knew that the fantasies were nothing but that.

Fantasies.

Something that would never happen.

Anakin watched silently and unnoticed as his son participated in his training. Master Yoda stood in front of the many younglings and watched as they swung their training lightsabers at the floating objects. Many missed. Luke did not. Anakin smiled. Luke was a natural Jedi. He seemed born for it, just as his father had been. Yoda smiled and praised the budding Jedi before instructing them to start again.

Luke seemed to find the task easy. He had excelled almost beyond the point of his classmates and Anakin could see some of his fellow younglings look at him with envy. Anakin was proud. His son was strong. His son was a Jedi.

The fact made him sigh. Despite his pride at being Jedi Anakin wasn't sure he wanted his own son to grow up in such a life. It was hard and difficult life and every time he thought of his son out patrolling the streets, investigating crimes and doing battle with a dark adversary he felt the same sense of unease he felt when Padme entered the Senate, fighting for a cause that would earn her many enemies and another threat to her life. But the truth that Anakin was always forced to face was that there was nothing he could do about it now. He made his choice. Now he had to live with it.

And for ten years he had.

Luke was ten and with every year that passed he grew to resemble his father more and more although no one questioned it. No Jedi would ever assume that Luke was Anakin's son. It would be preposterous to them. No Jedi would ever break the code in such a way. Anakin smiled to himself. They didn't know and they never would. Obi Wan Kenobi, Anakin's former Master, was the only person to know of his transgressions. His illegal marriage to a senator and their conception of a daughter both of whom died too soon.

Obi Wan had discovered his secret almost nine years ago, just as Anakin discovered his son. The aging Jedi had not reported his protégé and the two had never discussed the incident again. It was because of this that Anakin sometimes wondered if the exchange had even happened, but whenever Padme was mentioned in a passing comment by a Senator in the temple or her anniversary arrived Anakin would always find Obi Wan looking at him, his eyes filled with sympathy and then he knew it had.

Obi Wan did not know about Luke. Anakin felt the knowledge he already carried was enough. He couldn't expect Obi Wan to help him with his current situation. As Yoda ended the lesson Anakin wondered what would happen if he walked up to the ancient Master and told him that Luke was the son he had conceived with Padme. His expulsion would follow almost immediately, he had no doubt, and the truth would not award him with his son, Luke was a Jedi now, he was one of them.

Anakin sighed as the Younglings began to leave through the automatic door as they were doing so Anakin watched Luke and he caught side of the jappor snippet hanging around his neck. Padme flashed before his eyes. Anakin smiled as he disappeared unnoticed.

As the Coruscant sky was submerged in darkness Anakin returned to his apartment. He paused outside the door as he thought of the empty room that would be waiting for him inside. There would be no Padme, smiling and ready to embrace him, no C3PO ready to attack him with his annoying helpfulness and no children running around, playing together. There would be nothing. Anakin pushed back the sadness. After ten years it still hadn't got easier.

He entered the apartment and stripped off his clothing before climbing into his bed. He closed his eyes. When he opened them moments later Padme was lying next to him, wrapped in his arms. Anakin kissed her neck.

"Hi," he said.

"It's been awhile, my love," Padme said as she snuggled into her husband, "Did you see Luke today?"

"Yes," he smiled, "He's strong, has a lot of friends, looks like you."

"But more like you," she finished for him.

Anakin laughed a little as he kissed Padme on the cheek, she smiled in his arms and she asked him more questions about their only living child. Anakin responded with zealous telling her every detail he had ever observed of their son over the past ten years. Anakin had frequently visited his son during his early years but when Luke was three Anakin began to worry about being noticed by other Jedi Masters, especially Yoda and Obi Wan – who was already aware of his previous attachments – if Anakin was accused of forming an attachment with the child he would never be allowed to see him again. So Anakin now watched from a distance and Luke seemed to have no memory of their earlier visits. It hurt Anakin but he supposed it was for the best.

"I wish I could see him more," Anakin said sadly knowing his wife was the only person he could confide in because he knew she felt the same way. Only her pain was worse, she would never know Luke, not until his death.

"There is a way," Padme said as she shifted in the bed onto her back.

"Really?" Anakin said as he propped himself up on his elbow.

"Luke is ten now, old enough to be a padawan, you could chose him as yours, nobody would suspect a thing then. You could spend as much time with him as you want and maybe one day you could tell him that he's our son." She said.

Anakin's brow furrowed, he had never thought of that before, it was so simple and so obvious yet it had escaped him for over a decade, of course Padme would be the one to realize. She was always the smart one.

Anakin smiled down at his wife, who hadn't aged a day, he kissed her passionately as he thought of how his son would soon be at his side. Anakin closed his eyes as Padme kissed him back, when he opened them he was in his bed alone and awake. Anakin sighed but then he smiled as he thought of his dream, and his new plan.

He would make Luke his padawan.

All he had to do was wait.

Obi Wan walked down the corridor to watch the Matches. Obi Wan liked attending them and watching as Jedi picked their Padwans. Obi Wan himself had considered selecting a new Padawan himself for many years now however no one ever seemed to quite measure up to Anakin and he knew that there would always be a pressure placed on his new apprentice. A pressure to be as good, as fast and as brilliant as Anakin was and he doubted that there was anyone out there who could handle such a task.

"Obi Wan!"

Obi Wan turned around when he heard his name called, Anakin was rushing towards him a whisper of a smile on his face. He was dressed in his typical black but ever since discovering the truth about Padme Amidala's death ten years previous Obi Wan wondered if there was a new reason behind the dark attire.

Obi Wan smiled, largely, as his former padawan caught up to him and they walked side by side towards the Matches.

"Going to the Matches?" Anakin asked even though he knew the answer, but he wanted a reason to attend the Matches, joining Obi Wan who was a constant fixture at them was the perfect way.

"As always." He answered simply.

"Going to choose a new Padawan this time?" Anakin asked and Obi Wan laughed despite himself, trust Anakin to point out the very obvious.

"If one stands out, perhaps, there hasn't been one in the past that has inspired me but maybe this year."

"So, what you're really saying as that you could never find a padawan that will be as good as me." Anakin grinned and Obi Wan grinned right on back. Anakin rarely smiled anymore, there were times when he did but they were few and far between a contrast between the confident and cocky young man he had once known.

"That is one interpretation, a wrong one, but I suppose you are entitled to your opinion," Obi Wan winked at him and Anakin laughed a little, it was breathtaking and it ended all too soon.

"What about you my friend, will you be observing the Matches?"

"I thought I would, you never know maybe I'll find my own Padawan."

Obi Wan stopped walking and he gazed at Anakin with a mixture of shock and confusion, Anakin had voiced his opinion on never wanting to have a padawan, he liked to work alone and Obi Wan couldn't imagine a child hanging on Anakin without it driving him crazy.

"Really?" Obi Wan asked, "I can't imagine you with a Padawan."

"No?" he asked as they began to walk again.

"Having a Padawan is a lot of responsibility Anakin, they require training, nurturing, it a sense you're raising a chi…" Obi Wan trailed off as he flashed back to Dex's diner ten years ago and the confession Anakin had made.

"Raising a child." Anakin said as he stopped walking, turned and faced his former mentor and the only person who knew about his past and his loss.

Obi Wan let out a breath, "Yes."

"And you think that would be difficult for me?" Anakin asked his jaw locking in place.

Obi Wan looked to the floor, "I didn't say that."

"But you thought it," Anakin said, "Why don't you just say what you have to say Obi Wan; we both know it's been ten years coming."

Obi Wan sighed, "You lost a child Anakin, and now, despite years of having refused to take a padawan you suddenly want one; it's rather suspicious timing, my friend."

Anakin stepped towards him, closing the gap between them, "I lost a daughter, ten years ago, if I was searching for a replacement, I would have done it then."

"Anakin I'm not judging you, I'm not slapping you on the wrist, I just don't want you to choose a substitute daughter and then be disappointed when you realize she's not yours."

Anakin looked to the ground as he clenched his fists, "Obi Wan I didn't lose a child, I lost my child, mine and Padme's, there is no way to replace the daughter I lost and I wouldn't even try, I'm not looking to be a surrogate father. To anyone."

Obi Wan pinched the bridge of his nose, shook his head and said, "I'm sorry Anakin, I know that no one could ever replace…"

"Leia."

"…Leia but I just didn't want to see you back in that place again." He said making Anakin remember the pit he had been in for a year after Padme's and Leia's death, in truth he still wasn't out of it but he had climbed a great deal in the past few years.

"I wont." He said.

"I hope so," Obi Wan said and the two friends started to walk again, "I never told you how sorry I was, about your loss."

"Thank you, my friend."

Anakin closed his eyes and he smiled slightly as Padme's image danced behind his lids, Obi Wan noticed but he made no comment. What had already been said was enough for one day, maybe even another decade, he wasn't sure, but for today, yes, enough had been said.

Anakin and Obi Wan crowded into the great hall, many Jedi Knights and Masters were already seated waiting to take it the matches and perhaps find their new or first Padawan. Anakin smiled, a secret smile, he had no insecurities about the matches or about the selection of his Padawan. He knew who his would be.

Luke.

Anakin and Obi Wan found a place to sit and waited the five standard minutes before the matches began. Yoda stepped into the centre of the floor and said some words and, as usual, some obscure riddle that nobody understood but would probably be of some significance in later life.

The matches began and Obi Wan and Anakin watched in silence making some comments about the Younglings and of course Obi Wan's very own matches that had taken place years earlier.

"Hm, she is quite a talented young one, isn't she?" Obi Wan mused as he watched a Togruta male fight a human female with flame red hair.

Anakin looked, she was indeed impressive, "What did they say her name was again?" Anakin already knew which padawan he wanted and he had not paid attention to the rest.

"Mara Jade." Obi Wan replied as he looked on at the Youngling who was becoming more impressive as the fight continued, until, suddenly it was over and she was standing victorious. Anakin glanced at Obi Wan, he was impressed.

He smiled, "Have we found the New Me?"

Obi Wan turned and grinned at him, "Do not make assumptions just yet my friend."

Anakin smiled to himself, that meant yes.

Luke appeared towards the end of the Matches, he was fierce, ferocious and the match ended faster then any others. Anakin suppressed his smile and any emotion that threatened to show on his face, he did not want Obi Wan to get suspicious. While his Master may have understood and helped him conceal his marriage and the death his daughter Anakin was not sure what Obi Wan would do if he knew that Padme had managed to give birth before she passed on and that that child, that son, was standing right before them.

As the matches came to an end and all of the Jedi began to leave the hall, Anakin risked a glance at his son. He saw him smiling and talking with Obi Wan's soon to be Padawan Mara Jade. Anakin smiled. Luke had a look on his face, a look that Anakin knew well. He had looked at Padme that way when he was Luke's age.

"Well, I am starving, what do you say we pay Dex a visit?" Obi Wan asked snapping Anakin away from his son.

"Yes," he looked once more at Luke who was walking away with Mara and the other Younglings, "Lets."

Anakin walked down the hall way of the Jedi Temple, he was happy, soon his son would be by his side and eventually he would know the truth, about his mother, about his sister and about him. Anakin smiled at the thought.

As Anakin thoughts drifted to how long he would have to wait before he could reveal the full truth to his son. Months? Years? Obi Wan's voice startled him away from his thoughts once again. Anakin looked up, Obi Wan was talking with Yoda and several other Jedi, when he saw Anakin he excused himself and walked towards him. Anakin looked past him and he saw clumped together a group of Younglings or were they Padawans now? Anakin saw that Mara Jade was one of them.

"Good morning my friend." Obi Wan greeted him with a smile.

"Good morning, you're in a good mood," Anakin said as Obi Wan smiled.

"Well it is a lovely day, why should I not be?" he asked and Anakin only smiled at him.

"Perhaps it has something to do with selecting a new Padawan." Anakin hinted.

"Perhaps it has, I shall introduce you," Obi Wan turned over his shoulder and called for his Padawan. Anakin's blood ran cold. He did not, as Anakin had suspected, call Mara Jade to his side. Anakin watched in horror as from next to Mara Jade Obi Wan's new apprentice stepped forward and walked to Obi Wan's side.

Obi Wan wrapped an arm around the child's shoulders, "Anakin Skywalker meet Luke Tano."

He had chosen Luke.

Had to do it. Couldn't give them a happy ending just yet. That was chapter four anyway, sorry it took a while but I hope you like it.

Anna


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

Anakin Skywalker was strange.

Luke already knew the man by reputation, both good and bad, and like many younglings Luke Tano had looked at Anakin Skywalker with admiration and respect. He was nothing short of legendary, greatness personified. A true Jedi, if Luke had ever known one.

Like most younglings Luke had always harboured the secret fantasy of being chosen to be Anakin Skywalker's padawan, despite his aloof behaviour since the conclusion of the War, but he, like the others, knew that was just as fantasy.

Anakin Skywalker had sworn to never take a Padawan.

However Luke could not believe his luck when he had learned that he would be learning under the great Obi Wan Kenobi. The man who had taught Anakin Skywalker! It was the closest Luke would ever come to his fantasy and he could not fault it at all. Obi Wan Kenobi! Of all people to select him!

This had to be the greatest moment of his young life.

Luke stood amongst his friends, as they discussed their new positions as padawans. Mara Jade was talking openly about her excitement, going on and on about how much she would learn from her new master and all the places they would see together. The others were talking to, sharing their own stories and aspirations but Luke's attention was focused on Mara, the way her emerald green eyes lit up when she spoke, the way she flicked her flame red hair over her shoulder.

She was Luke's best friend and he was sad to think that he would not get to see her as often now that they were no longer younglings.

It was the only aspect of his new life that made him sad.

"Luke!"

Luke looked over his shoulder and away from Mara, Obi Wan was gesturing to him to come forward. Luke gulped, nervous. His Master was talking to Anakin Skywalker. He felt Mara nudge him in the shoulder, she winked. He smiled at her and turning on his heel, he walked towards his Master.

The walk was short but in those few moments, Luke felt the nerves build in his stomach. Anakin Skywalker was his predecessor. How was he meant to live up to that? How long would it take before Master Kenobi realized that he'd made a terrible mistake in selecting him? Luke swallowed hard. This was going to be terrible.

Luke stopped next to Obi Wan and he felt his arm wrap around his shoulder and with that he brought Luke some assurances. "Anakin Skywalker meet Luke Tano,"

Luke looked up and saw the fierce blue eyes of Anakin Skywalker looking down at him, a part of him wanted to cower, hide behind his Master from those powerful eyes but something stopped him, something made him stand his ground and meet his eye.

Perhaps it had something to do with the fact that Luke thought there was something sad in those great eyes.

Anakin nodded at him, only once, before looking back to Obi Wan, "Well, I shall leave you to it."

Luke let out a breath as Anakin walked passed him but then, suddenly, he felt a hand on his shoulder, soft, hesitant. He looked up. Anakin Skywalker's hand was on his shoulder.

"Good luck, and…don't worry too much," he smiled thinly, "he's not as bad as he seems."

Obi Wan laughed beside him and Anakin removed his hand as he continued to walk passed him.

"Anakin," Obi Wan called, "You have yet to tell me, have you perhaps selected a Padawan of your own?"

Luke's head snapped to look at Anakin who was still walking, albeit backwards, had Anakin Skywalker really chosen a padawan? Luke hoped he hadn't, despite his intimidating presence Luke had always wanted to be his padawan, even now. Even knowing how lucky he'd been to get Obi Wan.

He knew what people said about Obi Wan, as wise as Master Yoda, as powerful as the late Master Windu, a legend in the Clone Wars and he was the person to train Anakin Skywalker.

He was great.

But still there was only one Anakin Skywalker.

"No," he said simply, sadly, maybe, Luke thought and for some reason Luke felt those eyes on him again he felt that there was sadness in them.

Anakin nodded one more time and finally he turned and disappeared around a corner and for some reason Luke felt a deflation in his heart and soul. Like something was quite not right with Anakin Skywalker.

Luke shook his head. What did he know? Anakin Skywalker was strange, everyone knew that, there was no point in looking for reason in it. Some people were simply strange and Anakin Skywalker was definitely strange.

After Anakin had disappeared for long enough, Luke returned his vision to Obi Wan, his Master, who looked at him affectionately. He smiled warmly, "Don't pay Anakin any heed," he said, warmth, a brotherly love, in his tone, "He's just teasing, me more then you."

Luke only nodded, not really trusting his own voice.

"Well, I suppose we should get you settled and you and I should get to know each other," they started to walk, "Tell me Luke have you ever been to Dex's Diner?"

"No, Master, I haven't," he finally spoke, his voice dry.

Obi Wan chuckled lightly, "Well then you are in for a treat!"

Luke smiled but the further they walked, in the opposite direction as Anakin Skywalker, Luke couldn't help but feel that something was not quite right.

For reasons even he couldn't explain, he looked over his shoulder.

I know, an update, can you actually believe it?

I know it's not as long as usual, but hey at least I got it up there! An explanation of why it took so long, well for starters I'm back to school, so my life mainly consists of school, homework, work, sleep, it's not a very fun existence, and in between that I'm _finally_ learning to drive! So all of that has kept me fairly busy but I suppose another reason is that one of my best friends got me addicted to Merlin, Robin Hood BBC and Primeval! I swear I might be in need of rehab because of it. No exaggeration.

But anyway today I had all of my homework done, I was finished with work and I just finished the last episode of season 4 of Primeval! I'm both sad and happy! And then I was trawling through my laptop and I found this, half finished and decided to finish it.

I will try to update more frequently in future. Promise!

Lots of love,

Anna


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